Do you ever feel overwhelmed by the sheer weight of your worries? The state of the world, the economy, what other people think, the health of your loved ones, the endless to-do list for your future. Our minds can easily become a tangled mess of concerns, leaving us feeling anxious, helpless, and stressed. A huge part of this stress comes from one simple fact: we pour our precious energy into things we have absolutely no control over.
What if you had a simple way to sort through your worries and redirect your focus to where it can actually make a difference? This is the genius of Stephen Covey’s Circle of Influence, a simple diagram with a profound impact on your mental wellbeing.
It’s a concept perfectly captured in the timeless wisdom of the Serenity Prayer:
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” – Reinhold Niebuhr
This tool is how you find that wisdom.
Drawing the Diagram: The Circle of Concern vs. The Circle of Influence
The exercise is incredibly simple. You draw two circles, one inside the other.
The Outer Circle: Your Circle of Concern
This large, outer circle represents everything that you care or worry about. Take a few minutes and list everything that’s on your mind inside this circle. It can be big or small.
- Examples: The news, climate change, traffic, what my boss thinks of me, my child’s future happiness, whether it will rain tomorrow.
The Inner Circle: Your Circle of Influence
This smaller, inner circle is where the power lies. Now, look at your big list of concerns. Identify which of those things you have some direct control or influence over. Write those things inside the smaller circle.
- Examples: My response to the news, my personal recycling habits, leaving 10 minutes earlier for work, the quality of my own work, being a loving parent today, packing an umbrella.
The Psychological Shift: How This Simple Diagram Works
When you physically separate your worries into these two circles, something powerful happens in your brain.
- It Reduces Stress. By acknowledging the things in your Circle of Concern but choosing not to focus on them, you give yourself permission to let go of the anxiety they cause. You accept that they are outside of your control.
- It Boosts Confidence. Reactive people focus on the outer circle, feeling like victims of circumstance. Proactive people focus their time and energy on the inner circle. Taking small, deliberate actions on things you can control builds a powerful sense of agency and competence, which is the very foundation of self-confidence.
- It Magically Expands Your Influence. Here’s the most exciting part. The more you work on the things inside your Circle of Influence, the bigger that circle gets. By focusing on being a better listener (influence), you can improve a difficult relationship (concern). By focusing on your skills and attitude (influence), you can get a promotion (concern). Your power grows where your focus goes.
Put It Into Practice: Our Interactive Circle of Influence Tool
To make this exercise even clearer, we’ve designed an interactive digital tool. You can type in all your concerns and then simply drag and drop them into the correct circle. It’s a clean, simple way to sort your worries and find your focus.
➡️ Open the Circle of Influence Tool
Your 5-Minute Stress Reset
The next time you feel overwhelmed, try this. Grab a piece of paper or open the tool and do a quick “Circle Dump.” List your worries, sort them, and then identify one small action you can take right now on something inside your Circle of Influence. This simple act can shift you from a state of helpless anxiety to one of empowered action in just a few minutes.
You can’t control the weather, but you can always choose to bring an umbrella.