DEAR MAN Duel

DEAR MAN Duel

Practice the skill of asking for what you want effectively.

How to Play:
  1. You’ll get a tough, real-life scenario.
  2. You must build a 7-step “DEAR MAN” script.
  3. Choose the best option for each step to win the “duel”!
Scenario: …
D: Describe

Duel Complete!

Your final score:

0 / 100

Great practice! Effective communication is a skill you can build.

About DEAR MAN Duel

This is a game to practice Interpersonal Effectiveness skills.

Liability, Responsibility, & Guarantee

This game is an educational tool, not therapy or medical advice. It is created by Joyson Joy P, Clinical Psychologist, but using it does not create a therapist-patient relationship.

Liability & Responsibility: You (the user) are 100% responsible for your actions and decisions. The creator and publisher are not liable for any outcomes, positive or negative, from using this tool or applying these skills in real life. Use this at your own risk.

No Guarantee: This tool does not guarantee any specific life outcome, relationship improvement, or mental health benefit. Real-life conversations are complex. This game is a simplified practice tool only.

Theory: What is DEAR MAN?

DEAR MAN is a core skill from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), developed by Dr. Marsha Linehan. It’s a structured way to ask for something you want (or say no to a request) while maximizing the chance of getting a “yes” and maintaining your self-respect and the relationship.

  • Describe the facts.
  • Express your feelings/opinions.
  • Assert your request clearly.
  • Reinforce the benefits.
  • (Stay) Mindful of your goal.
  • Appear confident.
  • Negotiate if needed.

Who Is This For?

This tool is for anyone who wants to:

  • Stop feeling walked-over in conversations.
  • Ask for a raise, help, or a change.
  • Say “no” without feeling guilty or aggressive.
  • Reduce conflict in important relationships.
  • Build confidence in their communication.

Science & References

The DEAR MAN skill is part of the evidence-based DBT protocol. The “Repair Rally” game is inspired by the work of Dr. John Gottman on relationship repair. This game combines both ideas.

Reference: Linehan, M. M. (2015). DBT Skills Training Manual (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.

Maker & Copyright

Maker: Joyson Joy P, Clinical Psychologist

Copyright: © Joyson Joy P. All rights reserved. This content, including its code, structure, and text, is protected. Unauthorized copying, distribution, or reproduction is prohibited.

Mental Health Helplines

Disclaimer: If you are in immediate, life-threatening danger, please call your local emergency services (e.g., 112, 100, 911, 999, 000). These helplines are for support, not emergencies.

  • India (Tele-MANAS): 14416 or 1-800-891-4416 (24/7)
  • USA & Canada: Call or Text 988 (24/7)
  • United Kingdom (Samaritans): Call 116 123 (24/7)
  • Australia (Lifeline): Call 13 11 14 or Text 0477 13 11 14 (24/7)
  • AASRA (India): 9820466726 (24/7 Helpline)

© Joyson Joy P, Clinical Psychologist. All rights reserved.