Accepting Praise: A Game to Get Comfortable with Compliments

Someone tells you, “You look great today!” You immediately reply, “Oh, this old shirt? I got it on sale. I look tired actually.”

Someone says, “Great job on that report.” You say, “Well, the team did most of the work. I just formatted it.”

Why do we do this? Why do we treat a compliment like a hot potato that needs to be thrown back immediately?

Psychologists call this “Discounting” or “Deflection.” It often stems from low self-esteem or a fear of appearing arrogant. But here is the truth: when you deflect a compliment, you aren’t being humble. You are rejecting a gift. You are telling the other person that their judgment is wrong.

Compliment Ping Pong is a social skills game designed to help you catch the ball, hold it for a second, and place it gently back on the table.

The Science: The Acceptance Block

Research into “Imposter Syndrome” shows that many people feel they don’t deserve praise. When external praise clashes with their internal negative self-view, it causes Cognitive Dissonance. To resolve the discomfort, they reject the praise.

The goal of this tool is Exposure. Just as you can desensitize yourself to spiders, you can desensitize yourself to kindness. You need to practice the feeling of being appreciated without squirming.

The Game: Compliment Ping Pong

• The Serve: The game serves you a randomized compliment. (e.g., “You are really good at listening.”)
• The Reaction: You are given three dialogue options:
  1. The Deflect: “No, I talk too much.” (Game buzzes/Fails).
  2. The Boomerang: “You are a good listener too!” (Partial Credit – this is just panic-praising).
  3. The Accept: “Thank you. That means a lot to me.” (Win).
• The Challenge: The game measures your “Comfort Meter.” Can you accept 5 compliments in a row without deflecting?

👉 Play the Game: Compliment Ping Pong

Actionable Advice

• The 3-Second Rule: When someone compliments you, force yourself to wait 3 seconds before speaking. Smile. Breathe. Then say just two words: “Thank you.”
• Don’t “Return to Sender”: You don’t have to compliment them back immediately. It cheapens the moment. Just let their nice words land.

Safety & Disclaimer

• This tool is for social skills training.
• Culture: In some cultures, humility is highly prized and deflection is polite. Adapt this advice to your cultural context, but remember: gratitude is universal.