Does your mind ever feel like it has a leaky faucet, dripping anxious thoughts throughout the day? “What if I fail the presentation?” “Did I sound stupid in that conversation?” “What if something bad happens?” Each drop, a small worry, disrupting your focus and stealing your peace.
If you’re a chronic worrier, you know that trying to force the thoughts to stop is a losing battle. Telling yourself “don’t worry” is like telling yourself “don’t think of a pink elephant”—the thought just gets bigger and louder.
So what if the goal wasn’t to stop worrying, but to contain it?
Welcome to Worry Postponement, a simple and remarkably effective technique from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). It’s a skill that helps you take back control, not by fighting your worries, but by managing them.
Why You Can’t Just ‘Stop’ Worrying (And What to Do Instead)
Worry feels sticky because, on some level, your brain believes it’s being productive. It feels like you’re preparing for a threat or solving a problem. The real problem, however, is that this “productive” activity hijacks your attention for hours a day, leaving you exhausted and unable to engage with your actual life.
Think of your worries like incoming emails. If you stopped everything to answer every single email the second it arrived, you’d never get anything done. Instead, you set aside specific times to check and respond to them.
Worry Postponement applies this same logic to your thoughts. You are becoming the manager of your mind, deciding when and where you will attend to your worries.
The 4 Simple Steps to Postponing Your Worries
This technique is a skill, and it gets easier with practice. Here’s how to start.
Step 1: Notice the Worry
The moment a worry pops into your head, gently acknowledge its presence without judgment. Simply say to yourself, “Ah, there’s a worry.”
Step 2: Write It Down
Quickly jot down the worry in a dedicated notebook or on your phone. This simple act tells your brain, “I see you. This is important, and I will not forget it.” This helps your brain relax its grip on the thought.
Step 3: Schedule Your “Worry Time”
This is the most important step. Create a daily, scheduled appointment with your worries.
- Set a time limit: 15-20 minutes is usually enough.
- Set a specific time: Choose a time that is not right before bed (e.g., 5:00 PM every day).
- Set a location: Have a designated “worry chair” or spot.
Step 4: Gently Refocus Your Attention
After you’ve written down the worry, make a commitment to let it go for now. Say to yourself, “I will give this my full attention at 5:00 PM. For now, I am going back to [the task at hand].” Then, consciously shift your focus back to the present moment.
How to Use Your “Worry Time”
When your scheduled appointment arrives, take out your list and engage with your worries intentionally.
- Review your list. You might be surprised to find that many of the worries you wrote down no longer seem important or have already resolved themselves.
- Sort the rest. Divide the remaining worries into two categories:
- Solvable Problems: Things you can take action on. For these, spend a few minutes brainstorming one small, concrete step you can take.
- Hypothetical “What-Ifs”: Things that are out of your control. For these, the goal is to allow yourself to think about them for the allotted time, and then practice letting them go when the time is up.
When your 15 minutes are over, close the notebook and move on. You have fulfilled your commitment.
A Tool to Help You Park Your Worries
Remembering to do this in the middle of a busy day can be tough. That’s why we created a digital tool to make it seamless. You can quickly type out your worry, “park it,” and know that it’s saved for your next scheduled worry session.
➡️ Open the Worry Postponement Tool
You Are the Manager of Your Mind
This technique isn’t about eliminating worry from your life; it’s about preventing worry from running your life. You are reclaiming your most valuable resource: your attention. By practicing this, you learn a profound lesson: you are not your worries. You are the person who notices them, and you get to decide when they get your attention.